omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
