well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My life is pants optional.
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