but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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