ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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