i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
