went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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