"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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