dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
