I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
