My liver just broke up with me...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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