WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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