yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
