while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize