how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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