I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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