my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
