dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
