im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
