We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
