just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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