Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
