Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im six kinds of drunk right now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
