I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
