I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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