Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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