I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
