What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize