I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
