she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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