I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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