is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
