she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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