if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
