Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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