Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
