the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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