yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
