I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
