i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
