So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
