he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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