Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
