Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
