If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
