i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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