ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Your cock deserves a montage
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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