I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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