He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
