Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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