Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
