omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize