Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i already hear my dad disowning me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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