living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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