Can i not drive my cunt home
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
