3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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