I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
