I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
