Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
