i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
