Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
