I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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