Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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