We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
